i am working on it...

i am really trying to stop being so shy but it is so hard especially when people are so rude sometimes..... i have such low confidence but dont know why...i have tryed to be the sweetest most generous person i can be but to many people take advantage of that....i have alot of health issues going on that scare me i havent been able o see a doctor for them yet cause things are to exspensive these days....i dont really put myself first whenn it comes to me fun,laundry,me time,a day out, no babysitter so no date night with my hubby but i usaually dont complain all i care about is makin my god ,my husband ,my kids and others less fortanant happy first.....and can someone please tell me what a tru friend is ???when i was younger with a baby i dropped outta school and raised him now i am a middle school drop out with no diploma and no hope for a good career...but i was never the kind of teenager who even thought bout harming my baby just to be normal again i was raised with better morals than that mostley by my grandmother .......i love each and everyone of my kids with all my heart and nothing will ever change that.....i will say though my lord has definintly given me a second chance at life....i have been trying to learn that i can be a better person and people just need to except me for who i am ....

well this weeks i started a new fitness class at the gym i go to,the class is called zumba it is a dance fitness class it is alot of work but so so fun..it really makes you sweat and burn calories and earning to dance at the same time....i am getting so addicted to this clas i went out and bout special shoes yesterday....

with the lords help things will get better

well,today i feel really depressed for alot of different reasons..its one of those days i guess...i feel as if the world hates me mostley beacause lately alot of different people have been treating me pretty bad not to mention judging me...i am so tired of being judged...there was lots of horrible things going on where i used to live..i am originally from iowa i moved here to louisana with my husband in 2005 the only friends i have right now are ones from my church...alot of the times everyone i know avoids me,dont wanna talk to me,get mad at me for the dumbest reasons.....alot of the times i am in public i will be judged and people will say hurtful things to my kids...why????maby because we dont have alot of money like they do or cause we dont have fashion i dunno...i will admit we dont have alot of money,we dont have tons of fancy clothes but who does these days...but we do have the lords love....he does not judge he will not treat us bad..we do not forsake the lord and he will not forsake us...as far as friends i believe a true friend stands by your side regardless ..friends dont run and hide when you have problems they stay by yourside when they can and lend a hand or a shoulder to cry on...they never disclude you cause you are different than they are.....well let me say my friends are definatly this type......i hate hate just hate when someone yes she talks to you when she sees you at a church gettogeather or something but never invites you to any girly things outside the church but when she wants or need something she wants you to hang out.FAMILY well hmmm let me see when it comes to my real family like my brother,sister mom exc,,,for years i was abused and called names had no self confidence at times i felt like dying....when i was a teenager i worked fulltime and my mother took every pay check i had no money to myself ever....even now the only time her or my sister calls me is when they need something not to just say i love you my dad only calls me when he is drunk....MY HUSBANDS FAMILY,,,,they hated me since the first dy they met me..MY LITTLE FAMILY,,,,my husband and my kids are the only family i will ever need in my life they will always love me and never do me wrong......THE LORD MY SAVIOUR,,,,,his love for me is unfailing,,neverending....he will never forsake me he will never lie to me he will never hurt me...he will always be by my side he will not pick and choose when i can be a part of his life.....

our family day in shreveport

well im a little late posting this but anyways last sunday we had a family day in shreveport louisana we went to chuck e cheese,the bordwalk and strawns for my favriot strawberry pie than home i would say it is the best time i have had in awhile wih my family i loved it so much before we left for shreveport we stopped at mcdonalds by our house o eat some lunch yum!!!tyler fell asleep eating so funny.....i will admit chuck e cheese filled up so quick it was over whelming so we left there early and headed to bass pro and walk around it was fun oh on the way home we stopped at ryans for dinner....

once again its been along time since i have been on here so anyways i am finally married kevin and i were married at our church christ church yesterday...jan 5th 2009 at 3 pm yay i am finally mrs.le i am sooo happy all my friends really helped aalot i probaly coouldent have done it with out them...finally we are doing the right hand of fellowship on sunday im soo excited..the kids were so hppy for us....wow it seemed like the week was very long and drawn out bu its ok its over now....before i got married while i was in the church bathroom after i got dressed i felt sooo excited,nervous my stomach fel nauseated..here are some pics

its been a while

wow its been along while since i have been on here my old laptop crashed so my fiancee kevin bought me a new one on sale at bestbuy in neworleans while we were there for the newyear..so i have alittle to catch up on well my little man is finally walking all over the house now he loves to walk he is going on 17 months now. not to mention he is finally alking alittle its soo cute!!i had along two weeks with all my kiddos outta school but it was fun we played alot of monoply lol!!!the boys are obsessed with that game.i was sick most of the time with flu annd viruses but i am much better now...well.hmmm ok i have alot of housework to do these next few days whew alot of work...well i gues i better head to bed